Mom and dad

When I let Dad go to the light, was the first time I put pen to paper.
It wasn’t so much a sad song, as much as a sure celebration of the Angels who were welcoming him. My first true poem from the heart was inspired by losing the man I feel I have never lost.

He lives in me, as that confident voice when I made my first soup that was a disaster. I was 8 and threw in all the vegetables with two maggi cubes. He sat there, ate it somehow and told me that it was the most delicious thing, he had ever had. After that I made it for him often, even on the night when he didn’t get to taste it.

I find his diary from 95, the year in which we parted, to find in it a business meeting with the Queen of England. I smile to myself and while I am proud of him for reaching the skies quite literally, this is far from what makes me love and adore that man.

When we were young, every Sunday we would go the marketplace to buy crabs, prawns and lobsters, and he would cook for us and mom. I went there a year ago on my birthday to put together a seafood dinner for friends. The fisherwomen who hear I am his daughter, grab my face with their fishy fingers and kiss it.
The rich may forget but the poor never do, those whom touch their heart. For they have no other reason but love, to remember. It is they, who make me feel my father’s heart.

In my memories he isn’t the dreamer busyman that people tell me he was. He is the man who told me stories and sang me songs to sleep, the man who danced and laughed with me, and drove us home like a proffesional race car driver after dinners, with my mom and me screaming terrified and my brother delighting in the same skill of drifting that has flowed into him.

If it’s supposed to be sad, I have never seen it this way. For in losing him, I have learned early the fragility of fame and wealth, and the strength of love that towers far beyond it! I will meet him again, of this I am certain!
Perhaps I was too young to realize or feel the gravity of it all, or if I did, there was that woman, who has for ever shielded me from everything with her mountainous love.

Mom is the epitome of love and patience who has borne everything : from my complete refusal to study those pages of boredom in school, to my changing dreams. Mom I want to be “a cricketer, a dancer, a model, a pilot, a businesswoman, an interior designer, no wait a fashion designer.”
From being called in to the principal’s office for accidentally jumping on top of a teacher, to the teenage years of rebelling and breaking everything from rules to plates, she has been there patiently and despite who or how I was, lovingly.

Even when I have chosen wrongly and made a mistake.
Even though no one had asked me to, somewhere in my heart I wanted to reach the skies like my father and in my own version of it, I envisioned fashion lines all over the world, not realizing how foolish that was. While in London studying fashion, I found myself alone without all that I had always known myself to be, and in that time I remembered how I have always loved words. How I could never get past single digits in Math class, but how my hand was perpetually raised in class if someone had to read or tell a story.

I wrote here often and visited the ‘British library’ more than I did any fashion store. I was so scared to admit it to myself then. Not another mistake, that I had come so far to make, in another country.
After it all, tears streaming down my face, I turned to my mother, “Mom I don’t want to do this. I just want to write, to travel and dance.” I was expecting a storm of utter disapproval but instead all I got, from the woman who has let the world be my playground was, “It’s okay, leave the past behind. It’s done, so now do what you want to do.”

Mom, Dad thank you for falling in love, being love and weaving our lives with the love that you are.

by Shenaz Wahid

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19 thoughts on “Mom and dad

  1. Beautiful poem Beta…Your words are as beutiful as your parents are…I know he is always around…an Agel Guardian that he is to you and the rest of us…..
    Luv you beta always….

  2. Dear Shenaz….its an excellent story which is very touching and i feel unfortunate to have not seen your papa but at the same time i am very happy that atleast your mama is there beside you at all times. kudos mom and dad

  3. Simply beautiful!! Your Dad was a wonderful man and we all loved him dearly. I have so many memories of him…always smiling, a very gentle and kind soul…you couldn’t help but like him. He is always by your side so you’re not alone. Keep writing..you have a great gift. Lots of love, Pini

  4. Hi dear….. Sorry for not keeping in touch. Read your blog soon after my return from Bangalore…. couldnt stop reading…. was so fascinated with the pictures and thoughts your words formed in my mind.
    “MOm and Dad” brought back memories of your Dad. We used to call him Sudhir. He was always fun and easy going. You are indeed blessed to have such wonderful Parents. Write on…..
    Jackie

  5. looveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee IT !!!!!!!! and faisal mamas reply and your reply to =) simply amazing ! he was a great man and has 2 amazing kids =)

  6. I am really surprised 🙂 You write soo good ! it’s real, true and flowing as I can see through your words. Keep writing 🙂

  7. Hi Sheena as I used to call u
    I as your n sahils primary teacher feel so proud to read yr poem written for your parents,surely your dad was a very kind and loving angle who passed away too soon, would had made soooo much of a difference to the world if he was still around in person
    He surely did all u said about buying heaps of lobsters , shrimps and lot more ,not only did he feed the family but all around him, he felt happiness in making others happy , same goes for your mom too she has undergone a lot to see that u r brought up good and make something out of your life , by the way u look so much like sajeena you do remind me of her a lot
    now your mehru teacher is a senior but the memories I do cherish of the things and the time spent with each other when we lived in Bandra
    If ever i visit bombay I would deffinately would love to come and spend few days with u all in Banglore
    Lots of love to Sahil and sajeena, bls u all

    • Mehru teacher it just feels so nice to hear all these beautiful things about dad and you absolutely must come stay with us in blore 🙂 & you hav taught me so much! So much love to you!

  8. Dear Shenaz,
    “ Dad & Mom “ is a great writing , truly it reflects your emotions & Love , which overflows into a lovely poem.
    Your Dad was a greatest person I have ever met in my life. When we lost him I lost my father for the second time.
    Once Veena was in Mangalore with baby Jovin, I called your Dad asking for help ( As your Airlines was flying full). He told me that he is sorry and Veena will be in Mumbai next day i cried my guts out that night about the simplicity of a great person. ( I am writing this to you after 18 years and still i cannot hold my tears).
    And Tuttu, you were my little chubby Angel, I still remember when we bought your first round specs from Hill road riding on top of a fuel tank of a motor cycle named “ TUTTU”.
    Your Mom is a great person who always helped and stood by me all the time in my life, she masters the great balancing power not to displease anyone and delivers justice and makes sure that everyone gets their right.
    My sister ( Mom) has a special binding power in our family, she is a binding glue which kept our family together.
    With Lots of Love
    Jinnu Uncle.

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